8. The Ring of Piss Story
Occured: Jan 2005
Written: Nov 2006
So it is J-term at my school, which basicaly means drunken haze.
I mean think about it we only have one class a day, and everyone comes back in Jan with x-mas money. so basically its one big blur
So we start the day (around 3:00pm) drinking in Smokey's room. eventually Lunchbox shows up along with "BubblyBabe", "Buttox" and "G-String"
Smokey's Room eventually become a party with more people showing up.
around 9pm i start to get a little belegerent, and by little i mean a lot. So i was talking to a girl "shortshit" at the time. she was drunk and decided to play games and kissed Smokey. Being the dumb freshmen i was i let it get to me and told her to fuck off. (if i really said fuck off that would be nice, apparently i said a lot more)
on top of that i decided to tell every single girl to fuck off. im such a nice guy.
so we head off to a frat house (the girls being in a different car so my drunken self doesn't notice)
Once we are there i decide to take shots along with a shitload of beer.
according to lunchbox i bumped shoulders with someone and decided to punch their face in. the owners of the house decided to kick him out instead of me (cause im cool with them)
shortshit tries to take my beer from me. bad move, i let it rip on her, calling her various things, some which include a sandy cunt, a bitch, and other various nice words like cuntsucking whorebag.
I do god knows what ( i think i went outside to smoke a joint or a cig, kinda hazy)
i come back to lunchbox cuddling with shortshit. i don't care at this point. apparently i drove her to drink cause im a douche. She says she's going to puke so lunchbox grabs a fraternity 30th anniversery beer pitcher and she pukes into that. The owner of the house sees this and states that better the beer pitcher then the furniture.
The rest of the story is only what i heard from lunchbox. i completely blacked this part out but since he is one of my best friends i trust him not to bullshit.
apparently according to testamony, lunchbox decided to have a smoke. i walked out said heyyy to him and dropped my pants down to my ankles and started to piss.
About mid piss i fall flat on my face in the snow passed the fuck out still pissing.
Lunchbox is a true friend. he let me piss all over myself and when i was done he pulled up my pants, slung me over his shoulders, and gathered the crew and carried me over to the car
when comming back to CC he carried me up 4 flights of stairs and put me in my bed. he escorted shortshit back to her dorm. comes back to mine to find me drinking more alcohol..
he is pissed and leaves and spends the night in shortshit's room.
needless to say, i woke up with a nice hangover and a good amount of people pissed off at me...
Postscript: Lunchbox and shortshit got "involved" from that point on. he even baked her a fucking cheese cake after knowing her for like 3 days. I was pissed because i was his best friend for as long as i remember and he never baked me a god damn cheese cake.
BTW lunchbox when i hope u read this : Bake me a fucking cheesecake.
Written: Nov 2006
So it is J-term at my school, which basicaly means drunken haze.
I mean think about it we only have one class a day, and everyone comes back in Jan with x-mas money. so basically its one big blur
So we start the day (around 3:00pm) drinking in Smokey's room. eventually Lunchbox shows up along with "BubblyBabe", "Buttox" and "G-String"
Smokey's Room eventually become a party with more people showing up.
around 9pm i start to get a little belegerent, and by little i mean a lot. So i was talking to a girl "shortshit" at the time. she was drunk and decided to play games and kissed Smokey. Being the dumb freshmen i was i let it get to me and told her to fuck off. (if i really said fuck off that would be nice, apparently i said a lot more)
on top of that i decided to tell every single girl to fuck off. im such a nice guy.
so we head off to a frat house (the girls being in a different car so my drunken self doesn't notice)
Once we are there i decide to take shots along with a shitload of beer.
according to lunchbox i bumped shoulders with someone and decided to punch their face in. the owners of the house decided to kick him out instead of me (cause im cool with them)
shortshit tries to take my beer from me. bad move, i let it rip on her, calling her various things, some which include a sandy cunt, a bitch, and other various nice words like cuntsucking whorebag.
I do god knows what ( i think i went outside to smoke a joint or a cig, kinda hazy)
i come back to lunchbox cuddling with shortshit. i don't care at this point. apparently i drove her to drink cause im a douche. She says she's going to puke so lunchbox grabs a fraternity 30th anniversery beer pitcher and she pukes into that. The owner of the house sees this and states that better the beer pitcher then the furniture.
The rest of the story is only what i heard from lunchbox. i completely blacked this part out but since he is one of my best friends i trust him not to bullshit.
apparently according to testamony, lunchbox decided to have a smoke. i walked out said heyyy to him and dropped my pants down to my ankles and started to piss.
About mid piss i fall flat on my face in the snow passed the fuck out still pissing.
Lunchbox is a true friend. he let me piss all over myself and when i was done he pulled up my pants, slung me over his shoulders, and gathered the crew and carried me over to the car
when comming back to CC he carried me up 4 flights of stairs and put me in my bed. he escorted shortshit back to her dorm. comes back to mine to find me drinking more alcohol..
he is pissed and leaves and spends the night in shortshit's room.
needless to say, i woke up with a nice hangover and a good amount of people pissed off at me...
Postscript: Lunchbox and shortshit got "involved" from that point on. he even baked her a fucking cheese cake after knowing her for like 3 days. I was pissed because i was his best friend for as long as i remember and he never baked me a god damn cheese cake.
BTW lunchbox when i hope u read this : Bake me a fucking cheesecake.
posted by Angel Lust at 11:20 PM
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