Sunday, February 04, 2007

13. Mr. Whiskers and the stage 5 clinger

Occured: Jan 2007
Written: Feb 2007


So i thought it was going to be a rather boring, non-eventful night. I went to work and started DJing, having a few drinks etc. My roomie Picasso was bragging how he is gonna nail some chick while im off DJing, i don't really care, chicks are a dime a dozen.

Nothing special, until Link came in saying,

[Link]: Um dude we have a, well a situation.
[Me]: Like What?
[Link]: Well that Chick Picasso hooked up with..um kinda is a stage 5 clinger.
[Link]: She also apparently had a bush, and he recieved rugburn on his balls and cock from it
[Me]: Hahahahaha wait, Hahaahahaha

So i guess i was sent here to recieve help from you of some sort. Like an emergency situation.

I come up with the idea to have Link call up Picasso and tell him that i am being taken away from my job because i just was dosed with alcohol poisoning. Link decides that this is a great idea. and quickly calls up Picasso then leaves to pick him up.

a few minutes Link arrives back, With no Picasso,

[Link]: Funny story, so i come in there to pick him up and he's trying to get her to leave cause we are susposedly visiting you in the hospital. and She said that she'll stay in the room and wait for us to come back.
[Me]: wow. hahahahahaha that's not funny but it is.

A few mins later Link gets a call saying its okay for him to pick up Picasso, a few minutes later Picasso arrives i look at him ask him

[Me]: So how was the lay?
[Picasso]: Dude Fuck You Man, Seriously. Fuck You.

The night winds down, ad i come back to my dorm to find Link and Picasso chillin in my room. i look at Picasso and laugh, then Link starts laughing, so I get to hear the holes of the story filled in.

Apparently after the failure of the Angel-Lust has alcohol poisoning alibi, Picassowas so fed up he called security to kick the girl out (it was past visiting hours) usually security would be all up for getting people in trouble but Picasso got this response from them

[Picasso]: hey um there is this girl in my room and she won't leave, its past visiting hours and i was wondering if you could kick her out.
[Security]: Nope, too bad. call your RA or something.

So Picasso got the RA who kicked her out. Our RA is a cool dude and understood the shitty situation.

Picasso then went into other details.

[Me] So was her bush longer then the hair on my head?
[Picasso]: ya dude. it was gross

She then also forgot to close out an AIM convo on his computer. It went into details about how he(mr. whiskers) was one of the Best's she's ever screwed, that she's never had sex longer then 10min, and how Picasso rocked her world.

[Me]: she said you guys did everything but anal sex ewww u went down on her bush huh?
[Me]: I think your new nickname is Floss
[Link]: HAhaahahaha

[Picasso]: Dude when i saw it i decided no, so you can't call me Floss cause i never made oral contact.
[Me]: Did her pubes touch anything else besides giving u rugburnon ur bestfriends and shaft
[Picasso]: well they touched my chin
[Me]: Fine, were calling you whiskers from now on
[Link]: Hahahahaha

With that Picasso played some Viva Pinata (seriously its like a little kids game) and i got fed up with me and Link calling him whiskers or floss that he just went to bed. Aren't i a great friend. Granted he DID get laid, but the juice wasn't worth the squeeze.

Stage 5 clingers aren't a good thing, but are funny when they aren't clung to you. Picassojust has bad luck getting normal fucks. something always fucks up

but i do give him props because he turned a rather boring night into a fun one.