14. taco meat
Written: March 2007
Occurred: March 2007 (same night)
Ah. so comes one of the most interesting, and disgusting stories of this blog, granted the golden shower story was gross, along with the Whale and the sandwich story but this baby tops the charts on the blog
the night started out like a normal thursday night. a girl dubbed "taco" called me up to hangout and drink later in the evening. I had just finished a huge report paper so i thought this was a splendid idea.
Taco picked me up along with Rainman (now banned from CC college might i add) and drove to the Somer's House for a calm (yes calm) night of enjoyment of live entertainment and to have a few drinks.
the 1st mistake taco made was drinking with just me and rainman, we tend to pick on the weakest link and if a sign of weakness is shown, well we send massive amounts of drinks in the general area. The thing was tonight, we honestly didn't contribute to Taco going awol.
We sit down, enjoy the live band. I had a few bacardi and cokes, Rainman stuck to beer for the night (but he took a few shots that were offered his way, he's not that much of a pussy) i owed Taco a Chocolate Martini so she took that like a virgin on prom night. It ended being a dangerous drink for Taco because it combined 2 things that she loves more then cock; Chocolate and Alcohol.
After 2 martini's she switched up 2 jack and coke (gross). I bought a round of shots for everybody sneaking in a shot of blackhouse for Rainman (i was declared an asshole for the remainder of the night) then i took another shot of tequila with my fellow crew members of Panama City Beach Spring Break (that story will be next). Then i ripped another shot with taco, Then another with the bar staff.
Taco, was talking shit about the Tennessee Vs. Ohio State game, saying that TN was gonna win it. I'm smarter then that (i also had $75 on Ohio State) and bet her that if Ohio State won, my debt of orgasms to her would be reversed and she would owe me. Obviously i won which ticked her off.
Then afterwards taco starts talking shit to me which according to Rainman got a little out of hand. Won of my fellow co-workers "Jax" being both drunk and loyal decided she wanted to fight Taco because she was talking down about me. Me and Rainman prevent this fight from happening using Rainman's drunk negotiation skills against taco and me just using brute force against Jax. (i don't hit girls but i dont mind putting them in locks to prevent them from moving).
Soon Taco decides its potty time. she leaves for 15-20mins and Rainman being soberish (well more sober then me) tells me to go check on her.
Ya. so i decide to go check on taco in the bathroom. i come back to a not so pretty sight (taco is a pretty girl and hot but that alone can't make up for the situation i encountered in the bathroom), Okay. so Taco has her skirt pulled up to her boobs which are pretty much hanging out at this point pissing on the garbage can. (Btw rainman just realized he has piss on him..everywhere)
I know this isn't a good thing and ask her if she is okay. She is crying and grabs onto me falling off the garbage can and (still pissing might i add) pisses all over my right leg. She falls on her ass into her own piss on the floor i catch her just in time to prevent her head from smacking into the piss floor. Whoa. i pull up her underwear and pull down her shirt (she's nakey from the lower boobs down) whoa tis gonna be awkward.
Taco is not in a good state she is crying about how she is gonna puke. I gently set her head down on the floor and call rainman for help. (she was so drunk she couldn't even walk oooh.) Me and Rainman being the "great" friends we are Pull up her underwear (a lacey black thong ohh baby talk dirrty to me) and pull down her skirt. It doesn't help much when i had to carry her by the legs and rainman by her arms to her car. Oh did i mention she was the DD for the night?
So we drag her to her car, one guy outside makes a comment about her underwear. I tell him "fuck you" and me and Rainman put taco in the back seat of her car. I decide to go back and get plastic bags (i know its gonna happen)
When i come back with the bags...its a little uh too late. Taco already decorated her back seat with well...her taco meal from before (hence the name). I put a plastic back in her face and she decides to spit in my face. great i love you too taco.
Its okay Taco already spit in Rainman's face before so its all good. Rainman decides to go back in to use the bathroom and to calm Jax down. So its just me and Taco i am kneeling in her puke in the back seat so i can get the plastic bag in position for her to puke. She has pukey taco meat all over her face, in her hair..everywhere. i decide the situation def isn't going in an UP direction and wipe off her face with my shirt.
She begins to heave again and i put the baggy up to her face. Rainman makes the comment "time to put the feedbag back on" and instead she vomits in her mouth and spits it all over my face. Thanks Asshole nice comment.
So we driver her back to campus. we can't get her to get out of her car so i call Picasso to help us out. he grabs a blanket. security is helping out too. I ask Taco if she is capable of walking. and she starts heaving again.
With no baggy at hand she pulls on my belt for stability and pukes...yes. inside my pants. the 2 security guards helping me are in shock. Then they start laughing cause seriously what else can you do.
I start laughing too. At this point its either that or cry. We finally transport her to a room to where she can stay for a moment. Security already called an ambulence in concer n for her safety.
So im in the room taking care of Taco. She's drunk blacked out yelling AngelLust if you want to fuck me just do it, just pull down my underwear and fuck me though my skirt.
I mean for some people having sex covered in puke is kinky, def not my style and i was def in the exact opposite mood. I tell taco to shut up and pass out. her response is i know you still wanna fuck me.
the paramedics come and one of them looks at me and this is the interaction
Paramedic: Son you might want to wash off your face
Me: whats up
Paramedic: well you got a little something (finally seeing my face is covered in puke)...well just wash off ur face.
They bring Taco back to the hospital and me and Rainman just sit there and look at each other...
i lick my lips and taste...taco bell. I tell rainman to do the same and he gets the same taste of afterpuke on his lips.
gross.
we eventually find out Taco is okay. which is a good thing. my pants are stained...inside and out with puke, my right leg is still wet with piss. Taco puked on my hoodie and his coat. man she caused a fair amount of collateral damage.
On the way out Rainman makes a comment to me "dude i think we are too good at what we do"
PS: rainman considers Taco puking chucks on me being even from slipping him the shot of blackhouse. we are currently waiting on taco's return to CC so i can finish this part. Taco not remembering a good 85% of this story im sure will love to read it. The next morning she ended up doing the walk of shame back to her dorm in a hospital gown, right as classes were getting out. I don't think any of us are going to be eating mexican food for a long while.
Ahh. life.
Occurred: March 2007 (same night)
Ah. so comes one of the most interesting, and disgusting stories of this blog, granted the golden shower story was gross, along with the Whale and the sandwich story but this baby tops the charts on the blog
the night started out like a normal thursday night. a girl dubbed "taco" called me up to hangout and drink later in the evening. I had just finished a huge report paper so i thought this was a splendid idea.
Taco picked me up along with Rainman (now banned from CC college might i add) and drove to the Somer's House for a calm (yes calm) night of enjoyment of live entertainment and to have a few drinks.
the 1st mistake taco made was drinking with just me and rainman, we tend to pick on the weakest link and if a sign of weakness is shown, well we send massive amounts of drinks in the general area. The thing was tonight, we honestly didn't contribute to Taco going awol.
We sit down, enjoy the live band. I had a few bacardi and cokes, Rainman stuck to beer for the night (but he took a few shots that were offered his way, he's not that much of a pussy) i owed Taco a Chocolate Martini so she took that like a virgin on prom night. It ended being a dangerous drink for Taco because it combined 2 things that she loves more then cock; Chocolate and Alcohol.
After 2 martini's she switched up 2 jack and coke (gross). I bought a round of shots for everybody sneaking in a shot of blackhouse for Rainman (i was declared an asshole for the remainder of the night) then i took another shot of tequila with my fellow crew members of Panama City Beach Spring Break (that story will be next). Then i ripped another shot with taco, Then another with the bar staff.
Taco, was talking shit about the Tennessee Vs. Ohio State game, saying that TN was gonna win it. I'm smarter then that (i also had $75 on Ohio State) and bet her that if Ohio State won, my debt of orgasms to her would be reversed and she would owe me. Obviously i won which ticked her off.
Then afterwards taco starts talking shit to me which according to Rainman got a little out of hand. Won of my fellow co-workers "Jax" being both drunk and loyal decided she wanted to fight Taco because she was talking down about me. Me and Rainman prevent this fight from happening using Rainman's drunk negotiation skills against taco and me just using brute force against Jax. (i don't hit girls but i dont mind putting them in locks to prevent them from moving).
Soon Taco decides its potty time. she leaves for 15-20mins and Rainman being soberish (well more sober then me) tells me to go check on her.
Ya. so i decide to go check on taco in the bathroom. i come back to a not so pretty sight (taco is a pretty girl and hot but that alone can't make up for the situation i encountered in the bathroom), Okay. so Taco has her skirt pulled up to her boobs which are pretty much hanging out at this point pissing on the garbage can. (Btw rainman just realized he has piss on him..everywhere)
I know this isn't a good thing and ask her if she is okay. She is crying and grabs onto me falling off the garbage can and (still pissing might i add) pisses all over my right leg. She falls on her ass into her own piss on the floor i catch her just in time to prevent her head from smacking into the piss floor. Whoa. i pull up her underwear and pull down her shirt (she's nakey from the lower boobs down) whoa tis gonna be awkward.
Taco is not in a good state she is crying about how she is gonna puke. I gently set her head down on the floor and call rainman for help. (she was so drunk she couldn't even walk oooh.) Me and Rainman being the "great" friends we are Pull up her underwear (a lacey black thong ohh baby talk dirrty to me) and pull down her skirt. It doesn't help much when i had to carry her by the legs and rainman by her arms to her car. Oh did i mention she was the DD for the night?
So we drag her to her car, one guy outside makes a comment about her underwear. I tell him "fuck you" and me and Rainman put taco in the back seat of her car. I decide to go back and get plastic bags (i know its gonna happen)
When i come back with the bags...its a little uh too late. Taco already decorated her back seat with well...her taco meal from before (hence the name). I put a plastic back in her face and she decides to spit in my face. great i love you too taco.
Its okay Taco already spit in Rainman's face before so its all good. Rainman decides to go back in to use the bathroom and to calm Jax down. So its just me and Taco i am kneeling in her puke in the back seat so i can get the plastic bag in position for her to puke. She has pukey taco meat all over her face, in her hair..everywhere. i decide the situation def isn't going in an UP direction and wipe off her face with my shirt.
She begins to heave again and i put the baggy up to her face. Rainman makes the comment "time to put the feedbag back on" and instead she vomits in her mouth and spits it all over my face. Thanks Asshole nice comment.
So we driver her back to campus. we can't get her to get out of her car so i call Picasso to help us out. he grabs a blanket. security is helping out too. I ask Taco if she is capable of walking. and she starts heaving again.
With no baggy at hand she pulls on my belt for stability and pukes...yes. inside my pants. the 2 security guards helping me are in shock. Then they start laughing cause seriously what else can you do.
I start laughing too. At this point its either that or cry. We finally transport her to a room to where she can stay for a moment. Security already called an ambulence in concer n for her safety.
So im in the room taking care of Taco. She's drunk blacked out yelling AngelLust if you want to fuck me just do it, just pull down my underwear and fuck me though my skirt.
I mean for some people having sex covered in puke is kinky, def not my style and i was def in the exact opposite mood. I tell taco to shut up and pass out. her response is i know you still wanna fuck me.
the paramedics come and one of them looks at me and this is the interaction
Paramedic: Son you might want to wash off your face
Me: whats up
Paramedic: well you got a little something (finally seeing my face is covered in puke)...well just wash off ur face.
They bring Taco back to the hospital and me and Rainman just sit there and look at each other...
i lick my lips and taste...taco bell. I tell rainman to do the same and he gets the same taste of afterpuke on his lips.
gross.
we eventually find out Taco is okay. which is a good thing. my pants are stained...inside and out with puke, my right leg is still wet with piss. Taco puked on my hoodie and his coat. man she caused a fair amount of collateral damage.
On the way out Rainman makes a comment to me "dude i think we are too good at what we do"
PS: rainman considers Taco puking chucks on me being even from slipping him the shot of blackhouse. we are currently waiting on taco's return to CC so i can finish this part. Taco not remembering a good 85% of this story im sure will love to read it. The next morning she ended up doing the walk of shame back to her dorm in a hospital gown, right as classes were getting out. I don't think any of us are going to be eating mexican food for a long while.
Ahh. life.
posted by Angel Lust at 1:45 AM
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