Monday, January 22, 2007

12. The Crusty Cups debate

Occured: Jan 2007
Written: Jan 2007

So it was a Saturday night, and i actually called of DJing at my bar (The Barn). I went back down into my hometown to DJ for C-Bears' party.

My roomie ("Picasso") and my sister (yes my sister the one who never drinks) accompanied me to this rather short escapade. Soon afterwards the legendary Firecrotch arrived and paid me half of the $200 she owes me (what can i say? my services come at a decent price)

In about an hour the party got busted. Not by the cops, by a rather suspicious, douchebag of a neighbor. He told everyone to dump out the alcohol. Me being one of the few 21 year olds there said to give it all to me. We put the remaining alcohol in the car and drove to my house. C-Bear then met up with us and we gave her back the booze.

Picasso was sprung off of one of C-bear's friends. and asked me if i could get her number from C-bear. I said no. and me, picasso, and Firecrotch headed back to CC College.

Before heading back to CC college Firecrotch decided she didn't want to drive. She offered Picasso to drive us back, he was excited cause it was a 2006 mustang GT. He stalled going from reverse to 1st gear. Firecrotch, with no patients and wanting to get drunk Firecrotch quikly booted him out and drove back.

Me and Firecrotch decided to head to The Barn.

Prior to this Firecrotch actually had tamed for a good while. She cut back on drinking, being crazy, etc. etc. Basically kinda went lame-o for a few good months and dissappeared off the radar.

Not tonight...i knew the legendary Firecrotch would be re-born at least for tonight. I walk into the Barn and there are some soroity girls i know standing on the bar pouring shots down people's throats. One spots me and yells out "Angel-Lust come here!"

instead of pouring me a shot in my mouth, she holds my mouth and completly fills it with alcohol. i take the mouthfull of hard liqour, which was goldschlagger, on that note my night was off to a start.

Me and Firecrotch started off with some Grey Goose Vodka's. and then got some free shots from the owner. Then more Grey Goose and vodkas. i spent around $40 that night. which doesn't seem like a lot, but when you work there and your employee discount is drinks are $1.00 it split to about 20 drinks a piece.

We start dancing on the dancefloor, and Firecrotch looks like she is raping me to the 10th degree. i won't like she dances pretty good, a hell of a lot better then me while intoxicated. Everyone is staring but its cool, she likes the attention and i dont really care cause im drunk. im sure im going to here about this night the next time i work.

We drink more and more and more. Towards around 12:30 Firecrotch is actually giving me lapdances on the middle of the dance floor. By this time Link and Rainman have arrived and get to see the Legend of Firecrotch in full force.

When last call is announced we slam our last Vodka drink which had to be Stoli because we drank the bottle of grey goose. (we are champs). And Firecrotch actually chugged and out drank Link. She called him a pussy.

We arrived back to my dorm room ( a scary ride back considering Firecrotch is drunk and drives a 2006 mustang GT, [rear wheel drive]). Firecrotch gets completely naked before changing (she's weird but not that i mind, my roomie picasso didn't mind either) and goes into my roomie's bed. We start arguing calling each other out on stupid behavior, slutty behavior, and illegal activities prohibited by federal and state law. The arguement was loud enough for security to here it and instead of kicking her out he said he would rather not get involved and to quiet it down.

Link came up with the fabolous idea of putting Firecrotch's Bra in the fridge. it was executed and she went bra-less to work. I wonder if she got any additional tips for that.

The kicker of the morning is out of spite of being blue-balled the night before by Firecrotch, Picasso decided that he would ejaculate all over her bra.

Post Script: For a brief moment in time the Legendary Firecrotch was reborn. She got blacked out, puked and enjoyed every minute of it. The Barn staff is probably going to say something about that night, simple cause me and her stole the show single handedly. There is also the debate in whether to change her nickname to Crusty Cups.

After giving the alcohol back to C-bear her party got busted by the cops a few hours later and everybody got tickets. Ahh...Youngens.

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